Late last fall, as I was walking from work to the parking lot, I noticed this gourd sitting on the ledge above the federal building parking lot. I had been having a really rotten day at work and was cursing my employer for making me walk to the parking lot alone, in the dark, when a glint of electric lamplight shining off the gourd's pale orange skin caught my eye. I backtracked. Had I just seen what I thought I saw?
Who would have abandoned a perfectly good gourd on the edge of a parking lot, and more importantly, why? Halloween and Thanksgiving were both long gone. I imagine it had adorned some festive seasonal arrangement at one of the many nearby offices. No doubt it was starting to go soft. A middle manager tasked with disposing of it would catch sight of one of her employees on his way out the door.
"Would you like to take this home?" she asks, taking out her need to dispose of the now-unseasonal foodstuff and foster a positive work environment with one stone.
"Okay," says the employee, thinking of his impending end-of-the-year performance evaluation. Anything will help.
On the way to his car, he dumps the gourd on a random ledge, like an unwanted newborn on the hospital steps. Someone is sure to find it out here. Maybe some nice lady who's always wanted a gourd will take it home to her kids. Maybe a homeless guy will roast it over a trash-bin fire. Maybe an old lady will find it and feed it to her cat. But no, there it stays, long past dark, its only company a girl who stops briefly to snap a picture of it with her cell phone, then disappears into the night.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
MONSTER BOOK
Yesterday, a freelance writing project I was supposed to be working on fell through. I was feeling depressed and mopey about it today, because the project looked fun and, what's more, I was exciting about actually getting some work in my field. I also turned down an offer to work on a Habitat for Humanity house, because I was planning to use the day to write. Fortunately, it was only one of many projects I have my hands in. Mu ha ha ha ha ha!
So this afternoon, I started making our very own "Monster Book of Monsters" for the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows release party at Spellbound this July. I'm appropriat. . . er, borrowing Renfield's travel cage for the evening, so the families who attend the party will be safe from the terrible, terrible foam fangs of the monster book. Once I had sewn on its button-eyes and hot-glued its teeth (along with a little extra rubber cement for "drool"), I felt much better about life. At least someone has a use for my talent at monster-book manufacture.Sunday, May 13, 2007
Thursday, May 10, 2007
MISTERIAS COTIDIANAS
Around the time I turned nine, I became obsessed with the book Harriet the Spy, in which the protagonist spends her days spying on people and recording their idiosyncrasies in a notebook. Harriet eventually ends up alienating all of her friends, but the lesson was lost on nine-year-old me. I thought spying on my neighbors and recording my observations was the greatest idea ever, and spent the good part of a year mimicking Harriet.
As time went by, my written observations transformed into more socially acceptable forms of voyeurism: photography and fiction writing. Yet recently, I've discovered two new everyday mysteries that intrigue me.
As time went by, my written observations transformed into more socially acceptable forms of voyeurism: photography and fiction writing. Yet recently, I've discovered two new everyday mysteries that intrigue me.
Canaries.
Ever since our washing machine broke around New Year's, I've been taking our laundry over to the laundromat across the street. It's one of the nicest, sunniest laundromats I've ever been to, and it has fairly diverse clientele, so it's always good for people-watching. The mystery is the canaries. They live on top of the Coke machine by the front door. Buy why? Is it just part of the sunny atmosphere, or do they serve some utilitarian purpose? Is the laundromat in danger of becoming filled with carbon monoxide, like a mine shaft? Are they watch-canaries? Who do they belong to?
I know I could ask, but for now, I prefer my theories to a concrete answer. It makes my weekly trip to the laundromat so much more exciting.
Pipe organs, goats, and mysterious structures
As if he were not enough of an enigma already, our neighbor, who raises goats and runs "Our Creator School of Surviving Skills," has recently erected a mysterious structure on his property. We have yet to determine its purpose. It's a tower, approximately 25 feet tall, with open windows in the sides. One of our friends thought it might be a smokehouse, but the open windows suggest otherwise.On occasion, our neighbor also plays a pipe organ secluded somewhere in the depths of his house. His bouts of musical expression always take place in the middle of the day and usually follow a meandering, improvisational line, rather than any recognizable melody. We can hear him playing from our kitchen window, but the music is never too loud.
Some of the other neighbors complain about him, but frankly, I prefer his goats and pipe organ improv to the electric reindeer and mechanized Christmas carols the family across the street subjected us to from 4 p.m. to 10 p.m. every day from mid-December until New Year's Day this past year. They say good fences make good neighbors, and he has one hell of a fence.
Sunday, May 6, 2007
WOMEN'S LITERATURE CORRECTIONAL FACILITY
Jeremy and I stopped by the Friends of the Library book sale yesterday on our lunch break. They didn't have any old National Geographic magazines this time, as I'd hoped, but we did make some good finds in between the romance novels and Sue Grafton books.
On a side note, I love finding romance novels with weird titles like Outback Dad or Wife-in-Training, which the library had a-plenty. Once, in B. Dalton, I encountered an entire series of romance novels devoted to the premise that the heroine has gotten herself knocked up and must now find love before her due date. It's like Tess of the d'Urbervilles, without the murder and pathos. But I digress.
I found a nice paperback version of The Grapes of Wrath, along with two almost-new Margaret Atwood hardbacks that had been withdrawn - what are you thinking, Buncombe County Library? - and Angela Carter's The Infernal Desire Machines of Dr. Hoffman.
I wouldn't recommend this last book if you are at all squeamish about scenes involving gang rape by centaurs. It's very well written, but deeply, deeply bizarre. My senior creative writing project adviser recommended it to me in college. I was writing the first half of a novella, and Dr. R was my first reader.
"Have you read The Infernal Desire Machines of Dr. Hoffman?" she asked, after she had read my first draft.
"No," I said.
"I'll lend it to you," she said. "What you're writing reminds me a lot of that book."
After I read Carter's book, I didn't know how to feel about Dr. R's comment. Obviously, she respected Carter's work and meant what she said as a compliment. But while Carter's book was beautifully and meticulously written, mine was distinctly lacking in centaur rape. Granted, my story was more out in left field than most of my peers, and it did take place in a distopic, alternate-reality version of New Orleans - which became disturbingly less alternate in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina - but I thought it followed pretty clearly in the tradition of magical realism or science fiction. The Infernal Desire Machines of Dr. Hoffman was an experimental masterpiece that wouldn't hesitate to shiv any Jeanette Winterson book it met in the Women's Literature Correctional Facility. I had to go soak my brain in Jasper Fford's The Eyre Affair after reading it.
Why, then, did I buy Carter's book? It does make an interesting conversation piece, and I do have some friends who might be able to stomach it's more disturbing passages, but I don't necessarily want to read it again. I think it was out of some perverse sense of pride that I finished the thing, like those people who climb all of the world's highest mountains, or get together at swanky parties and eat deep-fried tarantula. I'm glad I did it, but is wasn't easy to swallow.
More than that, though, it's nice to have a reminder that not everything being written for and by women has to be chick lit. Angela Carter, Jeanette Winterson, Margaret Atwood: we ladies have our heavy hitters, too. We're capable of profound thought and literary experimentation, not just confessionals about boy-craziness and shoe shopping. When she wrote Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte may have unintentionally opened up the floodgates for the slew of romance novels that populate our shelves, but she also made it possible for people like Angela Carter to push the bounds of literature a little farther.
On a side note, I love finding romance novels with weird titles like Outback Dad or Wife-in-Training, which the library had a-plenty. Once, in B. Dalton, I encountered an entire series of romance novels devoted to the premise that the heroine has gotten herself knocked up and must now find love before her due date. It's like Tess of the d'Urbervilles, without the murder and pathos. But I digress.
I found a nice paperback version of The Grapes of Wrath, along with two almost-new Margaret Atwood hardbacks that had been withdrawn - what are you thinking, Buncombe County Library? - and Angela Carter's The Infernal Desire Machines of Dr. Hoffman.
I wouldn't recommend this last book if you are at all squeamish about scenes involving gang rape by centaurs. It's very well written, but deeply, deeply bizarre. My senior creative writing project adviser recommended it to me in college. I was writing the first half of a novella, and Dr. R was my first reader.
"Have you read The Infernal Desire Machines of Dr. Hoffman?" she asked, after she had read my first draft.
"No," I said.
"I'll lend it to you," she said. "What you're writing reminds me a lot of that book."
After I read Carter's book, I didn't know how to feel about Dr. R's comment. Obviously, she respected Carter's work and meant what she said as a compliment. But while Carter's book was beautifully and meticulously written, mine was distinctly lacking in centaur rape. Granted, my story was more out in left field than most of my peers, and it did take place in a distopic, alternate-reality version of New Orleans - which became disturbingly less alternate in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina - but I thought it followed pretty clearly in the tradition of magical realism or science fiction. The Infernal Desire Machines of Dr. Hoffman was an experimental masterpiece that wouldn't hesitate to shiv any Jeanette Winterson book it met in the Women's Literature Correctional Facility. I had to go soak my brain in Jasper Fford's The Eyre Affair after reading it.
Why, then, did I buy Carter's book? It does make an interesting conversation piece, and I do have some friends who might be able to stomach it's more disturbing passages, but I don't necessarily want to read it again. I think it was out of some perverse sense of pride that I finished the thing, like those people who climb all of the world's highest mountains, or get together at swanky parties and eat deep-fried tarantula. I'm glad I did it, but is wasn't easy to swallow.
More than that, though, it's nice to have a reminder that not everything being written for and by women has to be chick lit. Angela Carter, Jeanette Winterson, Margaret Atwood: we ladies have our heavy hitters, too. We're capable of profound thought and literary experimentation, not just confessionals about boy-craziness and shoe shopping. When she wrote Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte may have unintentionally opened up the floodgates for the slew of romance novels that populate our shelves, but she also made it possible for people like Angela Carter to push the bounds of literature a little farther.
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